Tips for dating over 30
Tinder is "stupid and harmful because it only makes romantic human connection harder." It is also "a factory and you shouldn't pretend it's even vaguely romantic." And let's not forget that "the adult consequence of living with one’s decisions doesn’t really exist when the next best thing is only a swipe away."Most of the discussion around Tinder has focused on its core demographic: twentysomethings, gay and straight, in urban areas (New York and Los Angeles, where I live, are its two biggest markets), who seem to use Tinder to hook up, boost or masochistically deflate their ego, and/or issue sweeping, usually disparaging pronouncements about everyone they've ever encountered on it.But I've now come to realize that even though all of the press around Tinder focuses on its popularity with twentysomethings, it's actually the perfect app for someone in their thirties, or older, to find love.I get so many female clients who are over 35 and divorced who come to me operating under the assumption that they are at an automatic dating disadvantage because of their age. The biggest problem that these women have is not their age, but their mindset.They tell me how frustrated they are trying to date being in the "over 35" age group. So to any women who are in this demographic and feel like these women do about dating as an "over 35," here are five of the best ways to meet men if you are over 35. If You Believe It Then It's True: Do you remember the famous Henry Ford quote "Whether you think you can, or that you can't, you are usually right?If she's dating you, it's because she sees something special in you. Her wardrobe will have high-quality classic staples that fit her well. She isn't going to waste her time dating someone just because he or she is there. She won't show up in an unflattering shade of orange just because it's trendy this week or buy shoes a half size too small because they were on sale. I also think I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't really have a life of his own.
)As a woman over 30, I decided to try to get to the bottom of this conundrum by asking a series of straight, unmarried men in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s to find out why some actually prefer to date “older” women.Last night, as a 33-year-old single woman living in the ginormous city of Jakarta, I found myself talking about dating and relationships with my girlfriends probably for the 10th time this week. Since moving here from San Francisco three years ago, I've been as single as I was back in San Francisco circa 2013 or bumble-eff-nowhere Waterloo circa 2010.If not via actual face-to-face dinners/lunches/brunches, these conversations are held through messaging, emails, what have you. And I've learned a thing or two about things that are not really helpful for you to do if you're single like me. But it's exhausting to hear this when you're out and just trying to have a good time.And they’ve figured out their makeup routine so they won't keep you waiting as long when you're trying to get to an event.”“Age has never really played a role in who I date …I have dated my own age, younger than me, and older.